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Strict or Lenient – what is better parenting?

An article in the Wall Street Journal is evoking sharp responses – Why Chinese Mothers are Superior. The question is really one of the diametrically opposed views on parenting. Western parents will not criticize or condemn. They expect that their children will learn on their own at a pace they are comfortable with. Chinese mothers don’t care about their children’s self-esteem. It’s about inculcating the value of diligence.

So which is the right approach? Are you going to turn your children off something just because they don’t enjoy it as soon as they take it up? Learning mathematics is tremendously taxing in the early phases. Persistence is the only way to succeed. I’ve heard about the Kathakali dance classes at Kalamandalam. Children wake up at 4 in the morning and go through a rigorous regimen of exercise where they learn to control every single facial expression. It takes decades to master. And the teachers are stern and unforgiving.

But it is also true that you excel at what you enjoy. The bestsellers are full of quick fixes – for everything from losing weight to succeeding in business. There is a formula for success. Doggedness is underrated because it does not glamorise effort. And you can’t do it in 12 one hour episodes of a TV-saturated world like the reality shows would have you believe.

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Dressed-up chairs

In any function at a ‘star’ hotel, these are the norm. Plain rusted iron chairs are made to look ‘premium’ with a dress stitched specially for them. Usually white, with a small padding for the back and the seat, they are slipped over the chairs in a matter of minutes. Premium chairs are hard to maintain in the Indian atmosphere of heat, dust and careless guests who drop curry. After the function is over, they go back into a stack and their dowdy selves.

It’s another one of India’s ‘jugaad‘ approaches to solving logistic, image and maintenance issues with a halfway solution that works. No trying to change guest behavior. Paying for laundry washes is much cheaper than paying for upholstery to be replaced. At the cheap hotels where there is no need to provide ‘pretend luxury’, the plastic chairs have taken over completely. They are light, easy to transport and can bear the collective weight of ample posteriors for several functions.

As a nation, we don’t look for the perfect solution. There is always an imperfect one that saves money and maintains face – two important factors that have to be kept in mind.

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Content repackaging gateways

Displaying a website on the mobile has always been tricky. The small form factor, the profusion of models and operating systems – SymbianAndroidMaemoBadaJavaWeb OS and their ever-changing versions have developers scrambling to provide a streamlined experience for users – apart from tackling issues like click and touch interfaces. While Opera Mini is the preferred browser for mobiles, applications that repackage the web page on the fly are exploring unchartered territory.

While browsers align HTML code to display better on 2 inch – 4-inch screens, apps like Pulse and Flipboard are redefining the fundamental basis of website identity. Facebook on Flipboard is completely unlike Facebook on the PC. Newser is a pointer to how websites are aggregated on the net but Pulse changes the look and feel of websites in a way that makes it a breeze to consume on the mobile and tablet. The designers of these websites have very little to do with the way their sites look on these devices.

In essence, these applications are content repackaging gateways. They allow you to experience the most popular websites in the same unified way, without having to navigate from site to site. I think we are seeing the first mutation of how small screen form is defining a function. And another shift in power.

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The Bengal sari network

They walk around the city with a huge cloth bundle slung over their shoulders. It’s their mobile showroom.They live with their competitors in seedy hotels and carry a small diary that lists every single one of their customers. From their villages in West Bengal’s interiors, they make the difficult journey to the borders of Bangladesh twice or thrice a year where they procure the famous ‘Dhaka Cotton’ saris. It’s not an easy life. What’s interesting is that they have been practicing ‘Customer get Customer’ for years.

It’s like Facebook  – selling only within a friend’s network. They get introductions, phone numbers and are gently persistent about their wares. All customers are ‘didi’s’ (elder sisters). They fix up appointments, land up at the house and get at least a few friends and neighbours from around to ‘see’ the saris. Their effort is not just to sell but to expand the network. A single sales call lasts as long as a couple of hours and they probably are the only people who understand women very well.

Well attuned to the prices their customers can afford, they sell expensive saris on instalments. No bills, or receipts. Just a promise to pay within a certain number of months. And they know how to pace their visits. Calling only once or twice a year – never aggressive, always chipping away with perseverance. And building a trust network that keeps them and their families going for decades.

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Design Teachers who inspire

Seth Godin pointed me to BA Magazine( Before & After) helmed by a quiet, introspective designer called John McWade. It concentrates on the nuances – something that evolves only after years of experience. In the primary years, most designers are too busy looking different, wanting to blaze a new trail, try out colours and typefaces that leap out and strangle the viewer or reader. They design for themselves, not the person who needs to be communicated to.

Then, there is a period of floating through the mist of designer edginess before the realisation hits home. Classics stand the test of time. They don’t look jaded just because a few centuries have passed. Books have easy to read typefaces because they are full of words. Magazines have huge pictures alternating with words. Newspapers have words and pictures packed densely into columns and spaces. To combine movies and words, a different grammar evolved. And web pages now integrate text, pictures, audio, and video. The best ones do them well. But most people go through life without ever having realised that several talented people have grappled with it. Not that they ever need to. If designers have done their job, they will not have any problem in flitting seamlessly between media

It’s people like McWade who bring out the magic. Just spend five minutes on this video. Like Steve Jobs, it may open a window in your mind.

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Those who never change ringtones

Which camp do you belong to – the one that changes ringtones every month, or the one that doesn’t bother to change the one that came straight out of the box? Listening to phones going off in restaurants, malls, and cinemas, Nokia’s default tone is the one that I hear most often. I suspect navigation is the factor people find daunting. Experimentation, for the vast majority, is unnecessary.

For some, it is a problem to make out that the phone is ringing when they hear a film song. Phones should sound like phones, otherwise, they may be mistaken for the radio. That’s why one of the default ringtones is the shrill ‘old phone’.’ No doubts about that one. It’s the young who go through the bother of setting different ringtones for their close friends. Or the ones who want to know the boss is calling even before they look at the screen. Callback tones are a giveaway as to the musical preferences of the user. I’ve seen finance professionals who have the hideous ‘baby laugh’ ringtone. It’s great to have wacky ringtones in college for a laugh but having it go off in the middle of a conference is almost like farting in public.

If you are interested in experimenting, Zedge is a good place to start. Everything from blues to reggae to pop to instrumental is available for downloads, for free. The choice is astounding – and this is just on one site. The other surprising fact is the money generated by selling tones – According to some estimates a declining market of over $500 million, from a peak of $4 billion in 2004.. That’s a lot for an innovation that merely changes the sound of your phone ringing.

Me? I have a ringtown downloaded from Zedge. All I want is to know that it’s my phone ringing. Not several people going for their pockets at the same time.

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2011 Another Day. Another Year

Gyrating wildly but completely out of synch with the music were several frenzied partygoers. It didn’t matter because, in the haze of created smoke and laser lights, everyone was having a ball. It was a funny experience raising lighted candles and singing ‘auld lang syne‘ with strangers, just before the countdown clock kicked in. A familiar tune but an unfamiliar song. And coming as it did after the current anthems ‘Sheila Ki Jawaani‘ and ‘Munni Badnaam Hui‘, it took on a dreamy ballad atmosphere more conducive to reunions rather than the passing of a year.

The streets were quiet on the way back home. The policing has been effective with unruly elements reined in. There were the occasional shouts and drunk greeting but nothing to upset the tone and tenor of the recently born year. When we lived next to the beach, it was irritating with drunken elements using greetings as an excuse to paw women – putting us permanently out of favour of going out on New Year’s eve. There’s nothing to dampen the new year spirit as the alcoholic breath and the slurred salutation.

It’s been a big year. There are enough New Year lists on other sites for me to add any of my own, including the top ad campaigns of the year. Does it really make sense to have the best of, the most powerful and the most influential lists? Apart from helping to sell magazines and make for idle cocktail chatter, these are laughable, especially when viewed a few years later. Today’s movers and shakers are tomorrow’s loners and losers.